The beauty of Eating Disorders.
I have been bulimic now for about 7 years, and this disease is killing me from the inside and on the outside. I’ve purged up blood before, but never as much as I experienced today. The amount of blood actually shocked me. I have almost no hair left, and the hair which I still have has thinned out. My teeth are all rotten. I can’t drink cold drinks. I can’t drink hot drinks. I can’t eat hard, crunchy things. My jaw will be getting surgery soon. My stomach hurts every time I attempt to keep food down. And not to mention my digestive system is completely fucked.
So you want perfection? You want all the boys to want you? You want to be beautiful?
You’re not going to get that. This is what you’ll get.
You’re further and further away from perfection each second.
No boy wants you because you always smell like puke, blood, and you actually fear even being close to anyone. You become worthless.
Beautiful? No. You become an ugly, horrible monster. Scars, bruises. You can’t go on dates. Refuse to go out with friends. You isolate yourself from everything and everyone.
Still not convinced? Do you still want this?
I’m giving mine out for free.
I need to reblog this. I need my followers to stop and read this. And I will never not reblog this. You do not need to do this to yourself. I don’t want you to get sick and I don’t want you to die. You are beautiful. Purging is never the answer.
Read this, guys.
I am bulimic. I have been in recovery for five years. I have not purged in two years. Yet I am still bulimic. I still have the urges and desires, I just don’t give in any longer. I purged for the first time when I was 11years old. It was a habit by the time I was 12. By the time I was 13 it was a full on eating disorder. I binged, purged, restricted and starved for almost 30 years. Now at 40 years old I can’t even get out of bed some days I am so sick.
Do I look good? No.
Do I feel good? No.
Can I eat normally? No.
My husband took me out to dinner at Applebee’s one night. I got one of their weight watcher meals and instead of getting the rice that came with it I got an extra order of broccoli. I asked for it to be plain. When the meal came I took a bite of the broccoli and found out fast that it was soaked in butter. I spit it out on the table and put my head down and sobbed. I scared my husband, the waitress, other staff, and other patrons.
Think that eating disorders are fun, helpful, easy, or anything other than horrible?
Fucking think again.